Words Left Unspoken

The hardest thing to understand are the words left unspoken.

An Open Letter to My 24-year old Self

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Dear 24-year old Self,

First of all, congratulations! Kudos to you for all the trials that you have endured and the triumphs that that you have celebrated. You, truly, have grown maturely enough under the love, grace and wisdom of the Lord. Looking back to everything that you have been through — heartaches, unaccomplished goals, unexpected circumstances, unguarded moments, bumps and curves — I can’t be any prouder seeing how you have braved them all!

I know that you still have a lot and want to pursue, I am also aware how pressured, at times, you become because you think that you are being left behind by some of your 20-ish friends, I would like to tell you, then, don’t be! Each and every individual has her own time and pacing. Always remember that how you manage yours is different from how they do theirs. Be reminded, my love, that you have a different set of goals and expectations from the people around you. Do you still remember your Word of the Year? Focus. Yes, focus. Keep your eyes on track, my dear. Never ever let life’s humps and hurdles hinder you from what you can and should accomplish. Things may run slow and delays may come along the way, but what’s important is that you keep going, you keep moving.

I also know that as your age increases, your desire of meeting your prince in the Armor of God also does. Don’t worry, my dear, he will come at the time that your King would allow. For now, I would like you to enjoy the season you are in. Have you forgotten one of your life verses? Yes, Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11 says, “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens…He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Yes, my dear, everything that’s worth having is definitely worth waiting for! For sure, your King does not want you to settle to something half-baked, He wants you to enjoy the perfectly baked and well-seasoned treat that you have patiently been waiting for. And in return, He does not want to serve you while you aren’t in your best state yet. Three words for you to remember? Trust His time!

Enjoy life, worry less! Travel, mingle with friends, meet new people, eat, share your experiences, impart your knowledge, love, cry over losses, laugh, show your skills, pray. Keep in mind that you cannot turn back time, so make the most out of it. Dwell in God’s presence and enjoy every moment He allows you to be in, have enough wisdom to discern the things He wants you to learn from your experiences.

Lastly, always stay in the Lord’s presence. You’ll never know when hardships or breakthroughs would come, so it’s always best to be prepared by staying grounded in God’s presence. As you age, your priorities also change, so guard your heart and mind through constant communication, deep relationship and maintained commitment with your King. I know the struggles that you have been through and how hard you had fought to win over them. You, truly, are victorious! I know that there are times when you tend to forget your value in God’s eyes, I also know that there are times when you feel like giving up and turning back to your old ways. Well, don’t worry, that’s normal and that happens. What matters most is how you have always gone back to Him and you do that with boldness and grace! You have no idea how I have admired you because of that. My dear, no matter how tough situations may be, remember to always go back to the Lord’s presence and always keep His statutes. Do not allow yourself to get lost in this bittersweet world for your stay here is only temporary.

Always remember that you have been chosen by your King to serve Him and be with Him. You have the privilege to talk to Him, so please do especially when you feel like you don’t want to. You are special and highly favored. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! Stop being anxious about your hopes instead, pray about them and trust your King who is gracious enough and is more than willing to give you His kingdom according to His riches in heaven.

So, do not worry and enjoy the life you have been blessed with!

Loving you sincerely,

Me.

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I Grieved…

You made me wanna write again. You made me write again.

It’s been over a year and I didn’t realize that I still have not gone over what happened. I thought everything was already okay since long time had already passed and I chose not to dwell too much on that. I didn’t realize that the impact you made in my life would be that big, that it also made its way to my present situation.

I opened my heart to you, took the risk of getting hurt and welcomed the all-in package of falling for someone. I thought it was something that I could look forward to, but I was wrong. Totally wrong. I mourned for a day and decided to get over it the next day. I thought it was a success, but then again, I was wrong. Was being connected to you totally wrong? LOL! I decided to get over you immediately, without letting grief and sadness crawl in. I thought it was an effective way of letting go and moving on from the wrong one. I thought it would be that easy.

More than a year had passed and I thought that I already succeeded with my plan, but I was shocked upon realizing and seeing myself cry once more. Not because of you, but because of the situation where I used to be in. I was surprised as I found myself crying and realizing that fear has made its way to my heart.

I was not aware that I’ve held that crappy emotion for a long time. I was imprisoned by false hopes, by a false fact. I kept on asking and seeking for reasons why things had to happen that way, until a good friend helped me process things out. An article that I read also said, “Reason’s last step is the recognition that there are an infinite number of things that are beyond it.” I almost forgot that I do not have the ability to process and give reasons to everything.

I believe my own sense of grieving has already come to an end…because I chose to. Your memory has taken its toll in lingering in my mind and I believe that it’s enough. I’ve already had a fair share of bittersweet memories from you. Yes, from you, not with you.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Weeping and mourning have already come to its end. Let me now laugh and dance and enjoy the goodness of life the Lord has granted me with.

I grieved, and now I forgive. 🙂

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A Piece of Wisdom from Thought Catalog

Hey there! I just wanted to share this entry from the blog, Thought Catalog. This really moved me, REALLY. 😉

Why Unrequited Love Is Sometimes Better
Kreistein Ninoy

 

When people talk about unrequited love, they usually associate it with pain or sadness. Well, I’d be a hypocrite if I was to say that it isn’t true. But you see, there is something about it, something about unrequited love that makes me think it actually is better than having the person you love feel the same way about you.

Do I sound sort of masochistic here? – I do not think so.

So here’s to my unrequited love:

It’s really funny how until now, it is still you who I think about during the wee hours of the morning. It still is you who enters my mind whenever I watch those romantic flicks. The way that I had to keep it to myself, you know, this feeling of wanting to be with you, it’s just driving me nuts. It always saddened me to think that you have, in fact, given your heart to someone else. Shameful as it is to me, I must admit that I felt abused whenever I give in to your pleas and do you favors even though I didn’t want to. But deep down, I knew there was no one else to blame but myself. There will always be that flutter going on about inside my stomach when I see you from afar or whenever you are near. With this, I resolved to stop whatever it would be that was trying to surface. I could be sentenced with attempted murder for having tried killing those butterflies (Ha ha!). To cut it short, I have implemented a restraining order, blocking out any feelings I may have for you.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it is with deep conviction that I must say that unrequited love is just as rewarding as having your significant other love you back in return.

From afar, I learned how “love”, despite its intangibility, is able to well up inside a person’s entire being. I felt like a millionaire with having so much love to give but there was nobody to receive it. It was like when Gatsby was hosting extravagant parties in the hope of Daisy showing up one night. All I wanted to do was to give, and give, and give although there was also this voice which was intermittently yelling for something back in return.

A green beacon was beaming towards me from a far distance. All the other lights, I have forgotten.

It was then that I realized that if there was one thing that I learned from that unrequited love, it would be that the first person who would be truly deserving of my passion is me. In the midst of my fondness, I have lost sight of the brightest light that I should have given attention to. I was blinded by the blaring green at instances when I should have strengthened the flare that I was giving off.  I learned to love myself genuinely and focused on my happiness first. It was then that I realized my importance and as well as that of the other people whose lights I should have heed: family and friends. (http://thoughtcatalog.com/kreistein-ninoy/2014/07/why-unrequited-love-is-sometimes-better/)

 

Makes great sense, right? 🙂

 

Xiao! ^^ 

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A Letter of a Hopeless Romantic to Her Special Someone…to be. :)

Hi! Uh, kumusta? Alam mo ba, I really wonder when I am really gonna meet you. Pero to be honest, hindi ako ganong nae-excite. Well, siguro noon oo, pero ngayon e parang hindi na rin gaano. Hehe. Siguro dahil mas matured na ako sa isip, sa salita at sa gawa. Haha! I am actually thankful that I haven’t met you yet. You want to know why? Because I want to meet you pag ready na ako. Ready financially, emotionally, socially, at syempre, spiritually. San ikaw din, ganun. Sana hindi ka pa rin masyadong excited na makita ako. Alam mo na, baka kasi sa sobrang pagka-excite e magkamali tayo. I am actually wondering what you are doing right now. Are you also thinking of me? Hehe. Are you also writing a blog about your future special someone? Nakakatuwa namang isipin. Hehe. Wag ka munang magpapakilala sa akin, huh. Saka na lang muna. I know in God’s perfect time, parehas nating malalaman pag malapit na nating makilala ang isa’t-isa o kung kelan natin dapat ipaalam sa isa’t-isa na parehas tayo ng nararamdaman.

Alam mo ba, nanuod ako ng MMK one time, the story was about a girl and a guy who have their “happiness formula.” Ito ang formula nila, HAPPINESS=LOVE+TIME+EFFORT. Well, wala naman akong anything na against doon. I just have a better one in mind and here it is: HAPPINESS=LOVE+TIME+EFFORTx2/GOD. LOVE plus TIME plus EFFORT multiplied by the COUPLE (2) divided by and into GOD. The couple’s love, time and effort should all be divided to God. Do you agree with me? Do we have the same idea? I believe that every couple’s happiness formula should include God. Dapat isama nila si God sa formula nila para mas masaya! Hindi ba? Alam mo bang ipinapanalangin ko na sana e parehas tayo ng views pagdating sa pananampalataya? Sana isa ka sa mga taong magdadala sa akin para maging mas malapit sa Panginoon. O kung hindi man, nawa’y ako ang maging tulay mo patungo sa Kanya. 🙂

Gusto kitang makilala sa panahong itinakda Nya. Paano kaya tayo magkakakilala? Magkakilala na kaya tayo? Close friend ba kita o isa ka sa mga taong minsan ko lang nakasalamuha? Nakasabay na kaya kita sa jeep o minsang nakabangga sa mall? Natarayan na kaya kita? O isa ka sa mga taong parati kong nginingitian? Haha! Nakakapraning isipin! Pero paano man tayo nagkakilala o magkakakilala, nagpapasalamat ako sa Diyos kasi hindi pa rin kita kilala bilang IKAW na muling magpapatibok ng puso ko. 🙂

Gusto kong malaman mo na hindi ako perpekto. Ngayon pa lang, binabalaan na kita. Haha! Napakarami kong flaws — physically, emotionally at maging socially. Maputi ako pero hindi maganda, masayahin pero may pagka-topakin at friendly pero hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay sociable. Pero anu’t-anuman ang mga maging kakulangan ko, alam kong nandyan lang lagi ang Panginoon para paalalahan tayong dalawa na sa isang relasyon, hindi lang ako, hindi lang ikaw, hindi lang tayong dalawa kundi tayong tatlo — ikaw, ako at Sya, bilang gabay, pundasyon at sandigan. SIYA nawa ang maging sentro ng kung anumang relasyon ang mabuo sa ating dalawa. I also didn’t come from a Christian family so I pray that it wouldn’t be an issue between the two of us. I love my family a lot and though we have different religious views, I know that in the bottom of our hearts, we praise and give glory to Jesus Christ, the Son of God. 

Maging partners nawa tayong dalawa hindi lang sa pag-gala, pagkain at paggawa ng mga hilig natin kundi maging sa paggabay sa mga kabataan sa church na dinadaluhan nating dalawa. Magsilbi nawa tayong dalawa bilang mga ate at kuya nila na pwede nilang gawing inspirasyon sa kung anu-ano. Maging mga mabubuting halimbawa nawa tayo sa kanila para patuloy silang lumapit at magpuri sa Panginoon. Magsilbi rin nawa tayong mga kaibigan na pagkakatiwalaan nila ng mga bagay-bagay para makapagbigay din tayo ng payo na tutulong sa kanila sa mga desisyon, malaki man o maliit, na dapat nilang gawin. 

Oh pano, hanggang dito na lang muna? Sana nabasa mo rin yung unang sulat ko. Pero kahit naman dimo pa nababasa yon, pagdating ng tamang panahon, ipababasa ko rin iyon sayo. See you in God’s time! Ingatan mo sarili mo ha, mamahalin pa kita! Naks! 😛

God bless you, Honey…to be. 🙂 

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Wonderful Life!…

Wonderful Life!

Hey,I’m winning today. My smile is okay, at the end of the line. :))

 

~ A line from one of the most inspiring songs that I’ve ever listened to. 🙂

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Sometimes, you will just come to a point wherein you would tell yourself, “Get over it… get over it.”

 

 

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Not all things …

Not all things are meant to be understood…some should just be accepted.

— the essence of acceptance and understanding.. 

 

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Warrior Me! *._.*

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There’s a warrior inside us all! 🙂

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It feels good to be loved by someone because of who you are, not because of who you pretended to be.

It feels good to be loved by someone because of who you are, not because of who you pretended to be. 

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It feels good t…

It feels good to have someone in your life who knows what and how you feel even though you don’t utter a single word. 🙂

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